You are a Star

Immigration here we come Part 1

When I started the blog all those months ago, I already knew that we would be immigrating from South Africa. I wanted to share with you, and all others with similar plans how we went about it, and ensure that you know why one day in case we are not around to tell you.

The most precious bundle

It has been no secret that the political situation in South Africa was deteriorating year after year. Our family experienced many things, that one should not ever even think about. This included violent attacks, car hi-jacking, robbery and break ins. Many people kept telling me it's ok and this is what happens all across the world. When speaking to some of my family members in Germany though, none of them have had to deal with this. None of them have burglar bars, security gates and set alarms in their houses after dark. The turning point for me really came when you were born, Keyan. Ones outlook on life becomes different, one becomes selfless, only concerned with the well-being of others, and when I witnessed a hi-jacking in a parking lot in broad daylight, holding you in my arms, that was it. I knew right there and then, no matter how hard it would be to leave family and all that we had worked on so hard behind, we had to make a difficult decision and ensure a better life for you. One where you can play outside and run around after dark, an education system where 40% is not the standard and norm and growing up surrounded by people that have values, that believe and that still care. 

 

Taking the US by storm

Where to from here? That was in November 2012, exactly 3 months after you were born. Well I like to do things quickly, sometimes uncalculated and not very detail orientated, but first thing was first. We wanted to give our families some time to get used to the idea of us moving, and as suspected, it was very difficult. We needed to figure out where to go to. We wanted to move to a English speaking country for sure. England was out of the question for us as we did not particularly want to move to Europe. (this would have been the easiest way though with my German passport) For a while, we consider New Zealand and Australia, we knew South Africans in both countries that absolutely loved it there. Then we considered America and since our best friends were also there, decided this is it. Our family convinced us to take a LSD trip (look, see, decide) and so we did mid of 2013. Although I felt this wasted much time, it was truly amazing to see what this land of dream offers. Vast scenario, many cultures and everything ones heart desires. A first world country in the true sense. 

When we got back home I started investigating how to enter the country and it was very difficult. At each open window, a shut door was to be found. America was being inundated with requests from foreigners trying to enter the country and we just did not have enough start up capital to enter with purchasing our own business. I did not give up hope though and continued chatting with so many people that I met through online resources that tried to assist and help. And with this, the light at the end of the tunnel returned and I started applying for jobs across the country. This, although we did decide to settle in Oviedo, Florida after our trip. I also decided to speak with my boss at the time just so that she is aware of our future plans and she wondered why we were not considering Canada. We had a branch there, and who knew maybe I could start at the office. I had not even considered this and this was perhaps our way out of South Africa. She contacted the General Manager at the Canadian branch, and yes, he would consider my application, however I would need to ensure I have my own work permit as in Canada one has to proof that there is not another Canadian that can do the same job, ie. one has to be highly skilled to be able to be granted a permit via the company. Another shut door after such good news. 

Finally in Canada

I now moved all my research over to Canada and searched all avenues to find a way into the country. Months went by again and I stumbled across a South African/ Canadian forum where South Africans had shared tips and were helping South Africans in the process of moving. And here I found a tip that if one person studies in Canada, the partner automatically receives an open work permit. This was it, I could not believe after all that time, losing hope, seeing the light again, searching more only to be turned down again we finally found a way.

to be continued...

Dear Keyan ...

The day my son was born, was the day my life changed, my heart grew and my love for my husband increased to something unimaginable. Having a child brings so many wonderful emotions and amazing feelings. Holding so many special moments, creating everlasting memories, it is a real honor to be a mother and something I hope every woman will have the pleasure to experience. 

Today, I want to share with my beautiful son everything I wish him in life.  Take this advice and use it as you see fit Keyan and whenever you are in doubt or need to hear me and I am not around, come back to this and read it. Hold it close to your heart. xxx

Know every day that you are intelligent, kind and strong.

Have your say as the world needs your opinion; but be selective in sharing as not all people will understand. 

Read something every day, learn a new word and keep up to date with the world.

Learn to cook and see food as travel. The culinary world is exceptional. Enjoy it and do not count calories.  

Listen to music, appreciate it and dance and let it fill your heart.

Laugh, laugh a lot and laugh until you cry. Snork if you need.

Tell me everything always. I will love you unconditionally and although I might not like what I hear later on in life, I will always be there for you. I will always listen.

Be bold, be daring and stand out.

Complete one course at University. You might not need it in your work life, but might in other areas of life.

 
Have children. Teach them all you know and make sure they understand empathy and kindness.

Do things for your community and the world.

Never stop to learn and think you know it all.

Do not be afraid to question things and seek answers.

Have pets, they make our hearts grow bigger and treat them as you do family.

Admit you were wrong when you were; this is a sign of strength.

I always believe in you and I will always take your side, even when it does not seem that way.

Don’t be afraid to feel and share your feelings, but always watch what you say as words cannot be take n back.

Fight for what you believe in, you are raised to be a strong man.

Always give your best, no matter what it is you are doing.

Do not settle for anything but the best. Not for anyone.

Become the person you imagine as a best friend, a kind, honest and loyal one. 

Travel the world!!! Do not get stuck in one place. Experience the many wonders, taste, touch, see, smell and love.

Start a bucket list and always add to this and tick off at least one item per year.

Do not worry about what other people think of you, you cannot control it.

Take chances in life, do not always play it safe.

I will strive to be your best friend, but I am always your Mommy first.

Listen to your Daddy and learn what he teaches you. He is wise and knows so much. Learn about music, sport, games and life.

Live in nature, stop and look at the sunset, close your eyes and listen to the sounds, take a deep breath and cherish these moments.

You will have a broken heart or two, feel it and move on. You will find love again.  Be silly and always have fun! Don’t be too serious.

Challenge yourself as much as you can, only like this will you grow. Push yourself and never stay in your comfort zone.

Always have manners and treat a woman with love, dignity and respect.

Although not always easy, telling the truth is the best option.

Our house is always open for you and you and your family are always welcome, no matter how old you are.

Life is a gift, cherish it. 
And please live life for you, not for other people. 

At the end of the day this is all true and thanks to God. Trust in him and he will provide. Have faith. 

You changed me completely, you taught me, you made me a better person and you are my biggest achievement.

I am so incredibly proud of everything you do. One does not need to come first, but one should always aim to try. 

You will always be my baby, my Didi, my monkey. No matter how old you are. I will always be there for a hug, a talk, a listen.

And never ever forget, I love you with my entire heart and being and more!

Xxx

Photo 1 Attribution: Arlo MagicMan
Photo 2 Attribution: Lasse Christensen, Lasse C 
Photo 3 Attribution: Alvin Trusty, trustypics
 

Toddler Fears

A few months ago, we noticed that our son, Keyan started being afraid of loud sounds. All of a sudden from one day to the next. It was difficult for us to understand as he had been sleeping with us in the lounge with the TV on for the first few months after he was born and was used to my husband, Gunther playing war games on the Xbox in the background. Noise should not be an issue for him! The hairdryer, vacuum cleaner, lawnmower....

After some research on this topic, we realized that this was normal behavior and nothing strange. A stage, just like the separation anxiety and tantrums we had already started experiencing. So for me this meant that vacuum cleaning was officially a challenge. And who minds that right? Well one has to clean at some stage! The same for my husband mowing the lawn. Each time either of us now does want to do either activity, we have to make a big thing out of it. Introduction of the vacuum cleaner or lawnmower, giving time to get used to it, see it and touch it and slowly switching it on and off. Letting him switch it on and off until we are all finally at a stage where we can go ahead and complete the task.

Then about 3 weeks ago, a new fear developed. The fear of Bath time. Oh NO! Can you imagine what this is like? Each night when I would put Keyan into the bath, he would scream and automatically one leg would come out of the bath and he would grab at me trying to pull himself up. I read into the topic and everywhere I found this is normal behavior and toddlers can develop fears such as this one for no apparent reason. I received advise from numerous sources, friends and family and tried them all. From bathing in a different bathtub, a different room, outside in the garden, new toys and games, to even trying in the sink and so on and so forth and just as I was about to become truly frustrated, I tried one last thing that was apparently recommended by doctors, and it WORKED! The solution was to add an inch of water into the bathtub at a time and slowly increasing this by a single inch each day until back to normal. I started off as instructed by placing him in only shallow water, and each day would increase this a little as he would become more and more comfortable with the idea.

And today, four days in, I struggle to get him out of the bath again from all the play and fun. The joys of Toddlerhood...

“Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.”

― Bill Ayers

Photo 1 Attribution: by  Kristian Thogersen

Photo 2 Attribution: by Till Westermayer, tillwe

Toddler Fever

We have been very blessed the last 13 months and Keyan has never developed a serious fever. We have had an instance or two with a bit of a raised temperature at 37.5 degrees (99.5 Fahrenheit) in the past, but nothing too serious and nothing that Panado for Infants could not fix at the time. This all changed last week when we experienced for the first time what it feels like to really worry!

As a mother, one instantly knows what your child's forehead should feel like and when it is time to get out the thermometer to check. Even a slight 0.5 degree temperature increase that would push it over the 37 degree (98.6 Fahrenheit) mark can be felt instinctively. So when I fetched Keyan at daycare the one day, sometime last week, I could see his eyes were red and swimming with water and his forehead was on fire with a temperature I had not felt before. I rushed home and the dreaded thermometer returned a terrifying 38.8 degree reading. (101.8 Fahrenheit) As it my nature I have done some reading up on this topic online and have come to learn that in the States, the golden rule for a temperature reading above 100 F is, that this should be considered high, but I had no idea about degrees Celsius and what exactly to do.

I froze and my mind drifted off as I was rushing through my thoughts, trying to find the answers of what to do next. After a little while, my husband Gunther called me back to reality. In most circumstance when I panic or get a shock, my husband is always the one to act as I just freeze up. Especially when our children are hurting and this extends to our two doggies. I immediately gave Keyan Neurofen, the strongest fever and pain medication we have in the house, as I know the Ibuprofen that comes in this is what is needed to decrease the temperature. While Gunther played with Keyan {{yes, no matter what, our toddler continues to always want to play and run around}} I "Googled" what else can be done. {{How did anybody do parenting before the internet??? Here I can't help but giggle, imagining mommies rushing to libraries with their heads buried in books reading up on things like these in days gone by}}

Little did I know that fever can also be perceived to be a "good thing" because this meant our little one's immune system was now finally starting to work. Woohoo, a new milestone. 

Fevers are graded as follows:

Low 37.7 - 38.8 degrees (100 - 102 Fahrenheit)
Moderate 38.8 - 40 degrees (102 - 104 Fahrenheit)
High above 40 degrees (above 104 Fahrenheit) 

A fever is activated by the body as this is its way to fight bacteria and infection and is actually helpful. So from this I derived that it is not as important how high the temperature is but rather how your little one is acting because of it. That being said anything above 40 degrees / 104 Fahrenheit should still be treated with fever reducing medication such as Ibuprofen and possibly be treated by professional care! You should ask yourself, is your toddler still eating, playing, acting normal? If yes, then most likely there is no need to stress. What is essential is that he continues to drink liquids and more than usual as he will be sweating and his fluids need to be kept up. If you find that it is a low to moderate fever, there is really no need to worry or treat it extensively as the body should be working its magic.

Nonetheless, when our little one had reached 40.8 degrees (105.4 Fahrenheit) we did stress and it was not a nice thing to see him get so hot but we realized this was brought on by two new canine teeth pushing through at the top. It was around this time that we noticed the fever seemed to start breaking. We made the active decision to keep monitoring him closely and if it did not continue to decrease, that we would rather take him to some 24/7 medical center. However with Neurofen at hand, lots of love, loads of comfort and support, our little family managed to overcome this first fever "attack". It lasted a whole 2 1/2 days where it would go down to normal values again only to return again at night. In the end after all this time, a teething nappy later {{I will write separately about this}} and as little sleep as humanly possible for both mom and dad, we still don't have those two "Vampire teeth" through. 

My colleagues laugh when they see me in the mornings  as one can clearly see when I lack sleep. Those with children tell me it will take many instances like these before all those teeth are finally here. I must always remember that they grow under the gums and push through a whole lot of flesh before they finally arrive. Good luck to us for the rest I guess! There are 12 teeth we are still waiting on :)

Blog Photo Contribution: By Amarand Agasi
Blog Photo 2 Contribution: By Thomas Guignard, timtom.ch

Keyan's First Year Milestones

Ever so often people ask me when our son, Keyan had his "firsts". What is "firsts" you may wonder. Well they are milestones so to speak. These are for example when your baby/toddler grows his/her first tooth, crawled for the first time, had his/her first haircut, taken their first step, etc and while it is so exciting once it actually happens, let me tell you, there comes a time past the 4 months mark where these things happen so quickly and on each other, that one can easily struggle to remember them all. This happened to me and I was scratching my head trying to remeber them all. This is when it dawned on me that we added all our proud moments to Facebook in the form of posts or comments and pictures etc. It just takes long to search and find everything on there again and hence we wanted to create an overview of all of Keyan's big milestones during the course of his first year. ♥

03.08.2012             - Keyan is born

3 months 3 weeks   - First flight to Johannesburg     
                                (after birth :)) 

4 months                - Received his 1st Passport

4 months                - Keyan turns over on his own 
                               (my parents first to witness)

4 months                - First solid food 

5 months 23 days    - Keyan sits up right on his own

6 months 6 days      - Keyan crawls

7 months 10 days    - Keyan says his first word (Papa) 

7 months 3 weeks   - First tooth (bottom, centre)

8 months 1 day       - First top tooth has arrive.

10 months              - First report received. Keyan is thriving.

10 months             - First time Keyan slept through   
                                     (but that did not last long :))
        
10 months               - First haircut

10 months 3 weeks  - Takes his 1st Step!!
                                 (daycare to witness first)

11 months               - Walking towards us - 11 steps

12 months 1 day      - Baptism

13 months               - Keyan joins next class at 
                                daycare

13 months 1 day       - First face painting at daycare



What an awesome and amazing 1st year it has been!! Full of so many proud moments. Parenthood is simply amazing. It is wonderful to create life and see all ones love and heart overflow in the achievements and steps of ones child...Life is wonderful!

Pay it forward

Life is very busy and stressful and very often we do not take time for the important things in life. If I think of myself, I work 8 hours a day, I travel 3 hours to work and back and the time that I am at home, I spend cooking, cleaning and preparing for the next day. This leaves me with about 1 hour each day with my son and very limited time for my dogs and husband. 

Yes, time is little and should be cherished. Ever so often you should stop what you are busy with to allow yourself the chance to appreciate each precious moment and those special people in your life, that mean something to you. That is why I try to do something nice for someone at least once a week. It does not have to be for friends or family, it can be random people at work or even for strangers. Letting someone else feel special, valued or loved is truly a wonderful experience.

I would like to challenge you to go ahead and do this weekly too. Maybe on your worst day of the week. Mine is a Tuesday for some reason. Give someone a gap in traffic; compliment someone unexpectedly at work on anything, whether it is a nice top, their work or their sparkling personality; let an older person take your place in the queue at the shops or buy your loved one a gift just because. A smile, a gesture, nice words, a flower, a compliment, these things are what makes our world go around and can mean turning someone's else day around completely.

I would love to hear from you on whether you did try it and what your experience was?

Happy Tuesday from me ;)

Blog Photo Attribution: By Daniela Hartmann, alles-schlumpf 

Blog Photo 1 Attribution: By LJWDevon

Germany 2003 - Picture and Song memories

With Kathi and Jan, my sister and her husband

Almost spelled correctly :)

We visited the little town Adendorf

Visiting the Brandenburger Tor in BER

A picnic right in Berlin

Look how young we were here

The angel of Berlin

Hamburg Fish market

Playing Uno and relaxing

The house we stayed in by Kathi and Jan

This is where I became addicted to Moorhuhn

My cousin Martin came to visit

Hamburg Dungeon

 

At the Heidepark

Having fun on the rollercoaster

Love my Diddl

USA!!! in the Heidepark

Going mushroom hunting

The poisonous mushrooms

Beautiful garden in Schwerin

With my uncle Lutz, aunt Ilona and their daughter Lena

Still in Schwerin, a castle

With my great grandmother, the last time I would see her

With my cousin Steffi and rest of family

Fun times with my uncle, aunt and cousin :)

There was a shop named Günther in Finsterwalde

With my other uncle Maik and aunt Daniela

My gran

Songs: